i can't believe i'm blogging on my laptop on the last day of my exams! 4 more hours to go before the dreaded paper. all the integrals have been driving me crazy, but thank God for the devotionals in the past week that have kept me sane, and are just so aptly useful with all the shenanigans that have been happening during this already stressful period.
my sis just returned from aus yesterday, and boy did she have a ball of a time. i'm glad she's back now, and that she hinted that she really missed us amidst leading the other childish and uncooperatively aussie-guy-drooling sec 3 cohort, hehehe. she, like my friends who're overseas, told me the one thing that i've heard so many times- "when i was there, i really thought, i'm missing out on so much in life while back in singapore man." apparently singaporeans don't seem to appreciate life as much as the people overseas. or at least we seem to find it hard. perhaps cuz singapore's constantly in that phase of being in an identity crisis, and likewise its people have no idea where they're headed, just going through the daily motions and pursuing an end of nothingness. i realised how uninspired and lifeless our people are. i see it often in myself. and as if getting inspired were such an achievement, the inspiration doesn't last very long- and we find that we give up very easily and fall back into square one. it's like a flame on a wick that burns out before it reaches less than half of its candle body length. i won't blame it on the older generation. because they probably didn't know who else to look up to and get inspired by in the first place.
i've told countless people that i have no idea what i want to do with my life after my imminent graduation. i told my best friend that i started praying about it last week, and she'd encouraged me to do so too. today's QT really spoke and i strongly believe i want to do something that has to do with seeking justice for the oppressed. sounds rather general, and rather noble. but that's all for clues that i have now as to what i really would find as a meaningful career. though the answer of where i should ultimately end up will not come immediately, and like my friend said- it's never going to be easy especially when satan's just around the corner to stop us from being where God wants us to be- i know that where He wants me to be is the best place for me, whether i may like it initially or not. mom told me that work's never easy because there's politics where there's people, and talking to friends who've gone out to the workforce have also caused me to fear slightly about not knowing what to expect.
i'll keep praying while i apply for jobs starting next year, and we'll see where God'll slowly lead me in this very short life on earth! friends reading this, please do pray for me too! would very much appreciate it :)
gonna end with this verse that has been one of the strongholds from God that spoke powerfully just a week ago:
this was a devotional on verbal abuse and generally on dealing with difficult people. something that i once thought i was a victim of, until i realised i started becoming the exact same person i despised and never wanted to be. tables turned subtly and soon i became the perpetrator (harshly put) without realising till much later. we're all on a road of recovery from whatever nonsense sin we struggle with, that's if we realise what sin it is. and sometimes, other people hurt us because they're struggling with something too. anger's been one that i have often been faced with. but we never stopped to realise that we're also a potential cause for hurt, because we often only look at ourselves as victims and sometimes we complain like Jeremiah about how people treat us unfairly.
i like how God answered Jeremiah with an unaccusing question. it shows that God still believes in how we can be used in different areas -family, friendships, ministry, work- for His glory, as long as we choose not to get stumbled by "mere men". it's real difficult not to be tired, and God permits us to complain to Him when we need to. but how long can our flame for Him really last, and how long are we determined for it to last anyway? at the end of the day, it's always what's done for Him that matters, and not how people look at us or seemingly persecute us for the mere mistakes or petty problems. those were never supposed to matter, as long as we took ownership of whatever we had, and did all with the best of our abilities. God is Judge and will also bring justice to those who have been treated unjustly. while we do our best, we need to realise we're imperfect as well. and that's where forgiveness comes in. from this, i guess i gotta start learning to be a forgiving spiritual doormat.
God help us!
my sis just returned from aus yesterday, and boy did she have a ball of a time. i'm glad she's back now, and that she hinted that she really missed us amidst leading the other childish and uncooperatively aussie-guy-drooling sec 3 cohort, hehehe. she, like my friends who're overseas, told me the one thing that i've heard so many times- "when i was there, i really thought, i'm missing out on so much in life while back in singapore man." apparently singaporeans don't seem to appreciate life as much as the people overseas. or at least we seem to find it hard. perhaps cuz singapore's constantly in that phase of being in an identity crisis, and likewise its people have no idea where they're headed, just going through the daily motions and pursuing an end of nothingness. i realised how uninspired and lifeless our people are. i see it often in myself. and as if getting inspired were such an achievement, the inspiration doesn't last very long- and we find that we give up very easily and fall back into square one. it's like a flame on a wick that burns out before it reaches less than half of its candle body length. i won't blame it on the older generation. because they probably didn't know who else to look up to and get inspired by in the first place.
i've told countless people that i have no idea what i want to do with my life after my imminent graduation. i told my best friend that i started praying about it last week, and she'd encouraged me to do so too. today's QT really spoke and i strongly believe i want to do something that has to do with seeking justice for the oppressed. sounds rather general, and rather noble. but that's all for clues that i have now as to what i really would find as a meaningful career. though the answer of where i should ultimately end up will not come immediately, and like my friend said- it's never going to be easy especially when satan's just around the corner to stop us from being where God wants us to be- i know that where He wants me to be is the best place for me, whether i may like it initially or not. mom told me that work's never easy because there's politics where there's people, and talking to friends who've gone out to the workforce have also caused me to fear slightly about not knowing what to expect.
i'll keep praying while i apply for jobs starting next year, and we'll see where God'll slowly lead me in this very short life on earth! friends reading this, please do pray for me too! would very much appreciate it :)
gonna end with this verse that has been one of the strongholds from God that spoke powerfully just a week ago:
“If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?" --Jer 12:5
this was a devotional on verbal abuse and generally on dealing with difficult people. something that i once thought i was a victim of, until i realised i started becoming the exact same person i despised and never wanted to be. tables turned subtly and soon i became the perpetrator (harshly put) without realising till much later. we're all on a road of recovery from whatever nonsense sin we struggle with, that's if we realise what sin it is. and sometimes, other people hurt us because they're struggling with something too. anger's been one that i have often been faced with. but we never stopped to realise that we're also a potential cause for hurt, because we often only look at ourselves as victims and sometimes we complain like Jeremiah about how people treat us unfairly.
i like how God answered Jeremiah with an unaccusing question. it shows that God still believes in how we can be used in different areas -family, friendships, ministry, work- for His glory, as long as we choose not to get stumbled by "mere men". it's real difficult not to be tired, and God permits us to complain to Him when we need to. but how long can our flame for Him really last, and how long are we determined for it to last anyway? at the end of the day, it's always what's done for Him that matters, and not how people look at us or seemingly persecute us for the mere mistakes or petty problems. those were never supposed to matter, as long as we took ownership of whatever we had, and did all with the best of our abilities. God is Judge and will also bring justice to those who have been treated unjustly. while we do our best, we need to realise we're imperfect as well. and that's where forgiveness comes in. from this, i guess i gotta start learning to be a forgiving spiritual doormat.
God help us!
0 comments:
Post a Comment